Thursday, 16 October 2014

Expressing yourself...Insecurity!

23 AUGUST 2014, 05:24 PM
Surreal... that feeling you get, existing outside our bodies..our lives not our own, like observing a play in action where you are not an actor, someone else's life, a life not your own. Its surreal, but at the same time fills you with a heart wrenching sadness. Not being a part of a celebration, feeling completely alone in a crowd...!
Whenever I write my feelings down like this. I have always felt like I'm cheating feelings exposed for the world to see, and writing them down they seem filled with falsehood, like they don't do these feelings justice.
 And other times I feel as though writing them down for everyone to see makes me someone I'm not...someone seeking attention...someone lost! Writing for me has always been a means of escape. Does everyone have these insecurities...? Have you ever felt that way? Or is it just me?

Monday, 13 October 2014

Lessons Learnt


Someone reminded me recently- “You should take risks Anjana, life is too short not to!”, he had said.
So, thank you for reminding me.

“A boat is safe in the harbour, but this is not the purpose of a boat”- Paulo Coelho.

Friday, 10 October 2014

Building Walls...

One of the unfortunate perks (not!) of being sensitive is that words that might not have carried that much weight or were said jokingly might hit you harder than intended.
It changes you- the knowledge that it hurt you more than intended and you subsequently trying to hide it. You start pretending to be someone you are not, you paste that smile on your face, permanently etched for all to see. They joke and you laugh along, all the while smiling while it slowly kills you inside.
Gradually, the world splits into two kinds of people. One that forever sees you as the happy go lucky person that you endeavour to be, the constant source of reason and joy in their lives.
And then there is these other kind of people. They see the walls that you have built so high around yourself. And they call you cold and heartless. There is a certain trend to them. Some look on with pity, some with censure and some with something pertaining to hero-worship for the stony facade you show them. 
There are times, times when the feelings threaten to brim over that wall you built, you just barely manage to reign it all in, and carve a smile on your face.

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Of the Sweetness of Strangers!

At times when life deals out a false hand to you, it is often in the most unexpected of sources that you find joy in.
More often than not, the kindness of strangers makes you find more meaning in life than people you have known all your life. They form the corner in your life reserved for unexpected bouts of joy and blessings.
But most of all, they make you happy and give you hope!
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